Mourning Coffee with Tracy Lee

Recent Articles

GRIEF BRIEF 7

SOCIAL WITHDRAWL

People who have recently lost a loved one may tend to withdraw from family or friends in intimate and social situations. 

This tendency is generally brief and usually corrects itself without intervention. If one continues to withdraw from social interactions over an extended length of time, one might find it comforting to consult with a counselor. 

My name is Tracy Renee Lee. I am a Certified Grief Counselor (GC-C), Funeral Director (FDIC), published author, syndicated columnist, and co-founder of the “Mikey Joe Children’s Memorial” and Heaven Sent, Corp. I write books, weekly bereavement articles, and Grief BRIEFs related to understanding and coping with grief.  I am the American Funeral Director of the Year Runner-Up and recipient of the BBB’s Integrity Award. 

It is my life’s work to comfort the bereaved and help them live on. For additional encouragement, read other articles or watch video “Grief Briefs,” please go to my website at www.MourningCoffee.com. Continue Reading →

Filed under:

GRIEF BRIEF 6

Mourning Coffee, by Tracy Renee Lee

ABSENTMINDEDNESS

Newly bereaved individuals may find that they are more absentminded than usual. 

Absent-mindedness, in and of itself, is not cause for alarm. 

If this behavior is extreme, individuals may find themselves causing great inconvenience or harm. 

If this behavior manifests itself for an extended period or is severe in consequence, one should consider consulting with a counselor. My name is Tracy Renee Lee. I am a Certified Grief Counselor (GC-C), Funeral Director (FDIC), published author, syndicated columnist, and co-founder of the “Mikey Joe Children’s Memorial” and Heaven Sent, Corp. I write books, weekly bereavement articles, and Grief BRIEFs related to understanding and coping with grief.  I am the American Funeral Director of the Year Runner-Up and recipient of the BBB’s Integrity Award. 

It is my life’s work to comfort the bereaved and help them live on. For additional encouragement, read other articles or watch video “Grief Briefs,” please go to my website at www.MourningCoffee.com. Continue Reading →

Filed under:

GRIEF BRIEF 5

APPETITE DISTURBANCES

Appetite disturbances are very common during mourning. 

They usually manifest themselves in terms of undereating rather than overeating. 

Significant changes in eating habits may result in significant changes in weight. Significant changes in weight in the elderly, infirmed, and minors may be cause for concern. If one feels that significant weight changes are cause for concern, consulting with one’s physician may be advantageous. My name is Tracy Renee Lee. I am a Certified Grief Counselor (GC-C), Funeral Director (FDIC), published author, syndicated columnist, and co-founder of the “Mikey Joe Children’s Memorial” and Heaven Sent, Corp. Continue Reading →

Filed under:

GRIEF BRIEF 4

Mourning Coffee, by Tracy Renee Lee

SUBJECT:  SLEEP DISTURBANCES

Sleep disturbances are common among survivors in the early stages of loss. Early morning wake-ups and difficulties falling asleep are generally experienced during the first four months after the loss of a significant loved one. 

In normal grief, these symptoms seem to taper off, and medical intervention is not usually required. 

My name is Tracy Renee Lee. I am a Certified Grief Counselor (GC-C), Funeral Director (FDIC), published author, syndicated columnist, and co-founder of the “Mikey Joe Children’s Memorial” and Heaven Sent, Corp. I write books, weekly bereavement articles, and Grief BRIEFs related to understanding and coping with grief.  I am the American Funeral Director of the Year Runner-Up and recipient of the BBB’s Integrity Award. It is my life’s work to comfort the bereaved and help them live on.For additional encouragement, read other articles or watch video “Grief Briefs,” please go to my website at www.MourningCoffee.com. Continue Reading →

Filed under:

GRIEF BRIEF 3

Mourning Coffee, by Tracy Renee Lee

SUBJECT:  GRIEF OR DEPRESSION

Grief and depression are different conditions. With grief, the world looks poor and empty. 

With depression, the person feels poor and empty. Although depression may exist during bereavement, it seems to be a transient state. 

If depression debilitates the bereaved for an extended period, professional practitioners might be considered. 

If one has suffered an extended period of grief and notices that one’s coping skills are not improving; or if one has thoughts of harming oneself, one might consider professional intervention. My name is Tracy Renee Lee. I am a Certified Grief Counselor (GC-C), Funeral Director (FDIC), published author, syndicated columnist, and co-founder of the “Mikey Joe Children’s Memorial” and Heaven Sent, Corp. Continue Reading →

Filed under:

GRIEF BRIEF 2

Mourning Coffee, by Tracy Renee Lee

SUBJECT:   AILMENT OF THE SOUL

Grief is an ailment of the soul. 

When the body suffers injury or ailment, one must take the time to recover or restore good physical health. 

When one’s soul suffers injury or ailment, one must take equal measures to restore health and psychological balance. The question is often asked, “How long should it take to recover from the loss of a loved one?”

Length of recovery is based on several aspects. 

The length, depth, and kinship of the relationship are all aspects that will affect the length of recovery. One’s psychological health, age, and past experiences with loss will also contribute to the speed at which one recovers. My name is Tracy Renee Lee. I am a Certified Grief Counselor (GC-C), Funeral Director (FDIC), published author, syndicated columnist, and co-founder of the “Mikey Joe Children’s Memorial” and Heaven Sent, Corp. Continue Reading →

Filed under:

GRIEF BRIEF 1

SIGNS & SYMPTOMS       

FORGETTING MEMORIES

Visiting places or carrying objects that remind the survivor of the deceased is motivated through fear of losing or forgetting precious memories. Carrying tokens of affection has long been an accepted custom when one loves another. 

One does not stop loving simply because their loved one has died.  

If this custom is acceptable while living, why then would it not be acceptable once a loved one has died? It may be that after a time, carrying tokens of remembrance or visiting special places may no longer be necessary for the survivor. 

Until that time comes, and as long as the behavior does not become compulsive, visiting special places and carrying tokens of remembrance are perfectly reasonable and comforting. 

My name is Tracy Renee Lee. I am a Certified Grief Counselor (GC-C), Funeral Director (FDIC), published author, syndicated columnist, and co-founder of the “Mikey Joe Children’s Memorial” and Heaven Sent, Corp. I write books, weekly bereavement articles, and Grief BRIEFs related to understanding and coping with grief.  I am the American Funeral Director of the Year Runner-Up and recipient of the BBB’s Integrity Award. 

It is my life’s work to comfort the bereaved and help them live on. Continue Reading →

Filed under:

Enlightenment

Mourning Coffee, by Tracy Renee Lee

Sometimes I stay up so late that by the time I get to bed, my prayers are shorter than a fine “How do you do?” Other times they are nonexistent. I am not sure why I let this happen. I know that prayer to my Maker is as vital as expressing my love to my family. Why then will I stay up so late that prayer goes to the wayside? I wonder if time management is my problem, perhaps it is something more. Continue Reading →

Filed under:

The Pain of Living

Mourning Coffee, by Tracy Renee Lee

It is sad when the pain of living overwhelms a person, and they feel that they would be better off dead.  I am not talking about suicide; I am talking about giving up on life. As a funeral director, I see cases where people have simply given up.  I bury them quite often.  I wonder if one day I might be one of those people.  Could I ever choose to give up on life and yearn for death instead? People will come to the funeral home to plan their services and ask me, “Why can’t I just die?”  Others articulate, “Why am I still here?”  Sometimes loneliness motivates their desire to die, other times self-loathing or guilt is too much for them to bear.  More times than not, however, I find that pain and/or illness are the big death motivators.  Nevertheless, it is very disconcerting that some people find the pain of living so overwhelming that they invite, and even yearn for death to take them.  It would seem that longevity might be overrated. Families seem to transition more easily when a loved one passes under these motivators rather than under a cloud of suicide.  Family members have usually cared for the loved one as they have transitioned from enjoying life to painfully enduring it.  These experiences seem to prepare family members for the result of losing their loved one.  Under these circumstances, I often hear remarks stating, “It was just her/his time” or “he/she is in a better place.”

A death actuated from a lack of desire to live is generally deemed a natural death or one of natural causes.  To me, however, the desire to bring on death by giving up on life – is most unnatural.  Although after rolling out of bed from another painful and sleepless night, I wonder if, after too many more years of this, I might also desire to see death at my door.  I hope not, I have so much to live for. 

To willfully court death is abnormal.  Through observation, it occurs to me that people who cannot endure the pain of living perhaps lack fulfillment in the deficiency needs.  The four lower tiers of Maslow’s Theory of Hierarchy, aka. The Deficiency Needs consisting of Physical, Security, Social, and Ego, evoke extreme anxiety in their absence.  Could it be this anxiety that motivates one to focus on the pain of living rather than the joy of life? Continue Reading →

Filed under: