Queen City

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Four States News Expands Social Media Reach

The Four States News (FSN) is proud to announce we have added additional Facebook Groups online. The FSN is a “Community Journalism site.”  We focus on events in communities such as church happenings, school events, and other issues often not covered by mainstream media.  We are not looking to cover the latest wreck or the latest Congressional issues.  Instead of a broad focus, we might focus on a Congressional leader who visits the four states area, or we might focus on the impact someone had on others who happened to pass away from injuries of a wreck.  We want stories based on what’s important to you and your community.  Anyone can write that a great citizen passed away at a certain age and left behind a list of relatives, but we want to know and share how that great citizen changed his family, his or her friends, and touched the lives of those she may have known.  Community Journalism is driven by two factors – contributors or people taking time to write something and submit it, and the community’s desire to know more, understand what’s happening on a deeper or more “hometown” level. We also recognize that we can not possibly cover all the stories.  In our area we have several outstanding, online publications.  You may have seen Texarkana Today or Jeff Easterling’s outstanding Texarkana FYI  .   You have also likely seen the long-standing, now-online also publication for the Texarkana Gazette .   It also seems like new publications are popping up daily like the new  ArkLaTex Post. Because we focus not just on Texarkana, but on the surrounding area of the four states, we thought it was time to allow those areas to have a reference point for articles directly related to them and to share articles.  These new groups will allow people to easily share post from any news outlet with links back to the original publication.  Together we can share news not only published from FSN, but also from any major or minor publication touching on important events or happenings. Currently we have Four States News Community Post  our first set up to allow sharing of news from around the Texas and Arkansas.  We have just added Oklahoma Four States News Community Post  and Louisiana Four States News Community Post. Continue Reading →

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Consecutive Miscarriage

My daughter is seven days away from delivering my new grandchild, and due to distance, I am unable to be there.  I have lamented over this fact trying to find a solution, but alas, there is not one on the horizon.  I have worried about her health as I have watched her over her last trimester.  She has endured the fatigue and pain that accompanies the final stage of pregnancy without anyone to help her.  She lives in Hawaii, a recent transplant due to her husband’s occupation, and therefore, finds herself without friends or family to love or assist her.   Yesterday after she got home from church, she told me something that was absolutely horrifying.  While she was in her women’s class, her women’s group leader announced that she had suffered her twelfth miscarriage this past week.  Wow, how could you not feel badly for this woman’s emotional pain and suffering?  My daughter immediately asked me what she could do for this woman.  In order to help someone who has suffered a miscarriage, one must first understand the confusion and grief that accompanies such a profound loss. Eight Important things to know about Miscarriage and Grief

MISCARRIAGE IS NOT ACKNOWLEDGED AS LOSS

Miscarriage is classified as a non-loss within society.  Unfortunately, when a mother miscarries a pregnancy, many people may not have known that she was pregnant.  Sometimes the pregnancy announcement is delayed for one reason or another.  Parents who have previously suffered miscarriage are less likely to share the news of pregnancy early on due to an apprehension of potential recurrence. Human beings are experience driven.  If one does not have personal experience with a certain thing, one is generally unmoved by it.  The missed opportunity of holding, touching, kissing, or cooing a newborn baby leaves us without a tangible experience from which to draw.  The parent couple, grandparent couples, and perhaps siblings are potentially the only human beings on the face of the earth who will mourn the loss of a premature infant.  This small circle of awareness does not offer a support network of understanding or assistance for those suffering the very real experience of grief following the death of a wee loved one. MISCARRIAGE IS THE DEATH OF A CHILD

Ask anyone, “What is the worst sort of death known to mankind?”  The answer will always be, “The death of a child.”Although others may not have experienced the life of an expectant couple’s baby, the expectant couple has.  These parents have planned, prepared, sacrificed, and experienced the life of their child.  The death of their baby brings with it the death of their plans and hopes for their future.  It brings the same chaos and fears survivors experience at the death of any other loved one.  Expectant parents may experience a loss of identity, unity, and purpose.  These losses may spill over into other aspects of their lives.  Unfortunately, for parents grieving a miscarriage, there is little understanding, or patience found for them within society.  They are expected to bounce back as though nothing has happened by people who have not experienced the devastating death of a child. Continue Reading →

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Grandmother saves Grandchild

 

Suicide cases are tough for funeral directors.  We must assist families who are suffering severe tragedy. Suicide is emotionally devastating to the survivors.   They are psychologically compromised and emotionally drained.  They experience extreme disorganization, confusion, and potential feelings of guilt.  My client family this week was a blended family.  The husband committed suicide at home.  His second wife was in a state of shock, and his step-children were devastated. This family was fortunate, however; their decedent had a trusted brother and sister-in-law who were capable and willing to work with the funeral home on their behalf.  The arrangements were made.  Due in large measure to the professionalism and organization of the brother and sister-in-law, the funeral services were excellent.  There was, however, one glitch.  The decedent had a daughter from his first marriage. Quite often, children from first families are not welcome, or may feel unwelcome, within the second family, particularly at the passing of their parent.  These feelings may, or may not, be the fault of the second family.  Indeed, these feelings may have been planted into the minds of natural children by the divorced parent with whom they reside.  No matter the fault, it is incumbent upon everyone involved, to erase these insecurities suffered by the natural children.  All ill will, whether past or present, must be erased.  First family children, a.k.a natural children, must understand that a parent’s suicide is not their fault.  If this is not accomplished, the natural children are in grave danger of suffering extremely complicated and extended grief. When a family breaks apart, and divorce is accomplished, children often have internal feelings of guilt.  They also grieve the loss of their family unit, their sense of belonging,  their future, and their security.  Divorce is tragic and devastating to children.  If that guilt is maintained and then one of the parent’s commits suicide, the anguish of guilt becomes oppressive and very dangerous for the suffering children.  If not adequately addressed, young children and adult children alike may find that depression is overwhelming, and may succumb to suicide themselves. Continue Reading →

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Sisters

Years ago, my sister had an argument with my husband.  At the time, I was out of state visiting a dear friend who was being baptized along with her husband, and four children.  When I returned home, my mother and my sister refused to have a familial relationship with me based on the events that transpired while I was away.  Indeed, they did not talk to me for ten years. Initially, I was gravely wounded.  Suddenly I was no longer welcome at family events.  My sister even refused to attend my middle daughter’s baptism.  She would not return my salutations if we found ourselves at the same place in town.  It was very awkward and embarrassing, but even more so, emotionally and spiritually painful. As the years progressed, our relationship continued to deteriorate.  My sister was unfriendly to my children.  My relationship with her children was severed as well.  My daughter missed her cousins.  After a few years, my mother called me and said that I needed to mend the fence between my sister and I.  I didn’t see any way to accomplish my mother’s wishes as my sister refused to acknowledge my existence. Eventually, the place that my sister held in my heart was filled with other people.  I found friends who were very kind to me, and who loved me.  They were happy to do things with me, to go places with me, to have me over for their children’s milestones, and to attend the events marking the milestones within the lives of my children.  Life has continued on this way for quite some time, and I have become very comfortable with it. My sister and I now live in different states rather than down the street from each other.  I rarely see her or hear from her.  She has recently divorced and during the dissolution of her marriage, she would call me when she felt despair.  We would talk for a while.  I would remind her of her strengths and finer qualities.  We would discuss her options, and once her confidence would return, we would conclude our conversations. Continue Reading →

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