Mourning Coffee, by Tracy Renee Lee

I was directing a funeral service this past week for a local family, and a client from a previous service was in attendance. My previous client dropped back by the funeral home after the current services ended and we engaged in conversation. His wife, while living, was a dear friend of mine. We served on various boards together trying to create opportunities for culture and growth within our community. During our visit, my deceased friend’s husband made a very enlightening statement. I asked him if I might share it, and he assured me that sharing would be fine.

As we spoke, he articulated the adage that his wife was his “better half,” but through her death, he realized that she had been, and continues to be, so much more than just half of his existence. Without her by his side, he realized that his wife had made him better than he could ever have been on his own. In his soul, he knew that she had sustained his life, his love, his confidence, his comfort, his home, his profession, and his reasons for existence. Without her, every aspect of his life was adversely affected. Her death has affected his every need, experience, desire, memory, comfort, future, and happiness. He misses her every moment of every day. Currently, he is trying to rebuild his life without her support.

One’s spouse is indeed more than half of who one is because as a couple, the two have morphed into one purpose and one intent. Most likely, a married couple has had children together, purchased property together, and merged their reputations and fortunes. These actions, along with a single purpose of goals and support, bring about a transformation of oneness. 

Oneness is the goal of every married couple. Love motivates individuals toward marriage, whereby they merge their assets physically, emotionally, and psychologically. This is necessary for the most utopic atmosphere to exist for longevity, happiness, love, and offspring. My client had the privilege of accomplishing these much sought after marital goals.

It was interesting to spend a little time speaking with my deceased friend’s husband about their life together. I believe she would be happy to know that he loved her so completely. He feels so privileged in having been her husband, and although he misses her every moment of every day, his love for her continues to bring him comfort and peace.

My friend was a great woman in our community. She loved people and did all that she could to improve the lives of the underprivileged. She worked for community improvement and enrichment. Her efforts were successful and far-reaching. I am privileged to have known her not just as a philanthropist, but also as my dear friend. 

My name is Tracy Renee Lee. I am a Certified Grief Counselor (GC-C), Funeral Director (FDIC), published author, syndicated columnist, and co-founder of the “Mikey Joe Children’s Memorial” and Heaven Sent, Corp. I write books, weekly bereavement articles, and Grief BRIEFs related to understanding and coping with grief. I am the American Funeral Director of the Year Runner-Up and recipient of the BBB’s Integrity Award. 

It is my life’s work to comfort the bereaved and help them live on, as well as educate adults in the needs of surviving children.

For additional encouragement, read other articles or watch video “Grief Briefs,” please go to my website at www.MourningCoffee.com.

Please follow me on Instagram at “GoinInStyleFunerals”.

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